Dear Life

Dear Zindagi,

I am Amita - your carrier. Yes, I am the person who breathes you and live you.

You must be wondering why I am writing to you when I follow you each and every tiny moment. Well, I must confess that a blog contest prompted me to do so (:P).

Ok, like everyone else, I love you babes. I know there are many who claim that they do not love you. Believe me, they all lie. Some of them even do not realize that they are bluffing. So, don’t mind them.

Through this letter, I officially thank you for everything I have.

You choose me to be the eldest and thus most pampered baby of the family.

You made sure I had the best set of brothers and sisters.

You choose amazing friends for me.

You taught me different hardships of yourself.

You brought smile to me.

You tickled me hard to laugh and cry at the same time.

You exhausted me to cry.

You gifted a piece you yourself to me – my kid.

You did everything you could to make me Live.

I am sure you have many more surprises to be unfold before me. But I can only than you for the chapters you have made me turn. This might sound funny that I am thanking you for all like I had any choice other than accepting your moments.

There have been times and a lot of them when I absolutely hated you. Be it the smallest scolding from mummy/papa, minor & regular health issues, failure in exams, heartbreaks or the moments which changed yourself – I literally abused you numerous times. I got bored of you sometimes. I wanted a change in you every now and then. Still, I love you more than anything else.

I love you because all that I have is because of you. I want you because there are people who love me, want me and most important, need me. Now when I am talking to you, I have an important message for you.

Laugh Always

Nothing beats a smile or a laugh. A genuine smile is always returned with a smile – be it sarcastic or actual. However hard the time may be – one smile is all that’s needed to nail it. So, always keep laughing.

Ignore Dislikes

There have been and would always be people and their feelings with and towards you. Some would like you while many others would try to mould you as per their convenience. Never ever pay a heed to them. Do only what make you smile and eventually lead to a good laugh.

Fear Nothing

You are a little fragile soul. You are frightened at tiny thoughts of loss. Remember that the fear of loss is the greatest strength of all. Never ever let it go away to upset you.

Enlighten yourself

Every time you feel that I am taking you away from laugh, thumbs ups and strength, feel free to hit me hard and get yourself back to the light. Sun or the candle, all sources of light have to burn themselves to shine above others. Those who illuminate with external sources, only glow temporarily.

Your Soul,

Amita,

Note; I am writing a letter to life for the #DearZindagi activity at BlogAdda. Thank you team for the thoughfull opportunity.

Guilty Mom

Off late, my kiddo has been calling me in office and complaining that I did not bid him goodby while leaving for office. Actually I leave for office when he is asleep - his school starts at quarter to 9. He is suddenly being mamma's boy specially in mornings. Starting past week, I have been getting calls from home with people consoling him that why I did not bid him goodby. The kiddo has also been asking me at night time that I say b-bye to him while leaving in the morning.

This is how we looked today morning when I was just stepping out. I had hard time controlling my tears...

I feel so bad leaving the little child and tip toeing to office while my mother in law tries to console him. He settles down in a few minutes itself is a different story. Using the word bad is not appropriate to describe my feelings at that time. I feel horrible. Actually I have tiny tears sparkling in my eyes somewhere even when I am writing this.
I feel guilty...!
Guilty of making my baby crying.
Guilty of not making his wish to hug me when he wants to come true.
Guilty of not spending more time with him.
Guilty of being a working mom!

I know most of the readers knew the last line was coming up. Such moments make me think that probably I might consider taking a break and spend time with my kids for sometime. I am working by choice. Financially, my non working status would not affect my family in any means. But does that mean I have an option to leave my job and not feel guilty any more? Would it solve the problem?
Honestly, the mere thought of not working gives me goose bumps. No offences to anyone, but everyone has his/her own basic nature and I am not the kind of girl who can be at home. I dread household chores and enjoy my own free space while I am at work.
Coming back to the mom who feels guilty, I still wonder about the solution to this. I have read numerous articles about this feeling and almost all of them try their best to make me realise that I should not and never feel this way as spending quality time is more important rather than all time and many other reasons. To be true, at the end, none of them makes sense when my child tells me he misses me or does not want me to go.
Is it because of this emotion that I try and do my bit to fill the gap? I take him to sports complex even if he says one no matter how tired I am after I return in the evening. I make sure to check his diary and never let him go to school without his homework or any other activity been written. I read him his favourite bed time stories no matter how much I do not want to read that night. The list is endless. But again, stay at home moms also do all this. I am no exception. Then what is that I can do overcome the guilty?
Well, I guess, the only answer is accept and embrace it. No matter how hard I try, I would feel the same way some point or other. Even if not working, I would feel -
Guilty of scolding him too much,
Guilty of wanting to run away from him sometimes,
Guilty of being too strict,
Guilty of being too carefree,
Guilty of letting him eat that ice-cream and catching cough,
Guilty of almost everything.

Despite of all the guilt, I get the most satisfied heart every time I see my kids smiling.

Are you also a guilty mom sometimes? share your feelings and let the guilt pass by!
Do dads also feel the same way every now and then? I am sure they do. do share your share of thoughts.

Letter From A Father To Her Daughter

"More than kisses, letters mingle souls." ~John Donne

Time and again I have mentioned how much I adore letters. A letter with words straight from heart would be a best gift my loved ones could ever gift me. There is no chance my blog would miss a letter which made the masses cry.

Yes, I am talking about the letter from Mr. Prakash Padukone to his daughter Deepika Padukone. The letter has some lines which are no less than a precious gem.

Here it goes:

Dear Deepika & Anisha,

As you stand on the threshold of life’s journey, I want to share with you some lessons that life has taught me. Decades ago, as a little boy growing up in Bangalore, I started my tryst with badminton. In those days, there were no stadiums and courts where sports people could train. Our badminton court was the wedding hall of the Canara Union Bank near our house, and it was there that I learned everything about the game. Every day, we would wait to see if there was a function in the hall, and if there was none, we would rush there after school to play to our hearts’ content. Looking back, I realise that the most important thing about my childhood and adolescent years was my refusal to complain about a lot in life. I was thankful for the few hours a week we had the opportunity to hit the shuttle back and forth. In fact, the foundation on which I based my career and my life was the refusal to whinge or whine about anything. And that is what I want to tell you my children, that there is no substitute for perseverance, hard-work, determination and passion for what you choose to do. If you love what you do, nothing else matters — neither awards nor compensation, not even the gratification of seeing your face in newspapers or television.

When I won the All England Championship, the prize money in badminton became significant — £3,000 — a huge amount in those days. But that did not distract me from the sheer joy of having been instrumental in putting India on the global map of this game. Deepika, at eighteen, when you told us that you wanted to shift to Mumbai for a career in modelling, we felt you were too young and too inexperienced to be alone in a big city and in an industry we knew nothing about. In the end, we decided to let you follow your heart and thought it would be cruel to not give our child the opportunity to go after a dream that she lived and breathed for. If you succeeded, it would make us proud, but even if you didn’t, you would not have any regrets that you did not try. Deepika, I have learned that you can’t always win in life, that everything you want might not come your way. That events don’t always turn out as you want them to. To win some, you have to lose some. You have to learn to take life’s ups and downs in your stride. The amount of effort that I put in my game never varied from the first day till my retirement. Even during my toughest times, I focused on what I had, instead of dwelling on what I did not. I had the ability to make the best of the worst circumstances and remain steadfast to my goal. Remember how I constantly tell you both about the importance of making your way up in the world without waiting for your parents to pull strings? I believe it is best for children to work hard to make their dreams come true and to not have things handed to them on a platter. When you are home visiting us, Deepika, you make your own bed, clear the table after meals, and sleep on the floor if there are guests at home. If you occasionally wonder why we refuse to treat you like a star, it is because you are our daughter first and a film star later. The cameras that follow you everywhere and the arc lights will eventually fade and what will remain is the real world. Strive to generate positivity around you even though you are too new and too small a player to effect a big change.

You are in an industry where there’s always going to be big money, but I believe that it is important to try to be the best in whatever you do regardless of the money. The things that really matter in life are relationships, honesty, respect for your parents and elders. Material success is important, not fundamental to happiness and peace of mind. I can’t tell you enough about the rejuvenating power of prayers and a little faith. Spare a few minutes of your day to close your eyes and meditate, to think about God and you will see how much faith in His power will strengthen you. In the end, when your career is behind you, what remains is family, the friends that you have made. Live a life that is healthy and one that will allow you to live with your own conscience. Everything else is transient. And remember, no matter what, we are always going to be there for you.

Lovingly,Pappa

I absolutely loved the way Deepika ended her long but awesome thank you speech -
"On behalf of every child I want to thank put parents for being the people that they are. I promise you that all of us, I am going to try and be the best that we can be and most importantly thank you for being you and THANK YOU for allowing me to be me and to pursue my dreams."

I so want to write a letter to my Papa for everything he has done for us. The fact is that I am too afraid to share my emotional side with him. I am definitely going to put my fear aside this year on his birthday and gift him the best gift I can ever imagine for myself.

Also, I have read a great book called - Letters From a Father to His Daughter by Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru (Click on the link to read the review)

Have you ever got a letter from your father or written one to him? Try and share it with the world (if not too personal...).

The Bold Step Which Changed My Life

This story belongs to the person who had been very close to me ever since I was born. I have heard about his struggles in bits and pieces within gossips and general discussions. Although I am not sure if he felt the same as I have written, but I have tried my best to put myself into his shoes and narrate the story.

I was always the spoiled brat in my family. My friend circle included most naughty and mischievous kids around. My heart never gave in studies and I barely managed to pass the exams while my siblings topped them.

I still remember the day when a piece of broken glass pierced through my foot while running behind the kite. Till date I curse that glass which made the kite slip away from my hands. It was the kite whose string had been cut by my special string and thus belonged to myself and none else. Bu that small piece of broken glass made be limb instead of run.

Friends are the best gift we can ever give ourselves. Friends can make as-well as break us from within and outside. I had friends who were ready to die for me. That does not mean they were any step back in killing me for fun. I discovered this the day I was left unconscious and taken to doctor in emergency. The doctors did some tests and the result was that I had consumed excess of a drug called – ‘Afeem’. No, I was not an addict or tried anything for adventure. I had no idea how my best friends made me consume that dangerous powder.

Time passed and somehow I was recruited in Delhi Police Force as a sub-inspector. A sub-inspector in Delhi Police was one of the most looked upon jobs in early 1980’s. I was soon married just like any middle-class boy. My parents were now relaxed and satisfied that finally I was settled with a good job and married happily. Reporting to and working under some authoritative officers was getting over my head. I had always been a free bird and could not work for some one. I wanted to be my own boss.

I roamed around all in blank. I sat with my friends discussing what we wanted to do with our lives. Looking Up had never been so difficult and required much deeper thinking than it seemed.

Finally, I left the so called government job which left my parents fuming. Who in this world does that? I was declared irresponsible and useless. I wanted to start my own business. The thing that made it more difficult was that I wanted to do it along with my childhood best friends. My father declared that he is not going to help me. I was left helpless and stranded. It’s a bitter truth that money making needs money. Some capital is required to start the business. I had none.  It was then when I realized that it’s easy to blame fate and slouch upon. The right attitude is what it takes to follow your dreams. I knew that I am a dreamer.

Image Source

Then I received the most unexpected help I had ever imagined. I had only seen it happening in Bollywood movies. My wife sold her jewelry! Yes, she did it. I still wonder if she did it because she believed me or she had faith in me. But she took the bold step and handed me the much required currency. I knew she was one lady who believed in show off and now she had nothing. Ornaments in those days were considered the best show-off for women. That day, I told her – “I promise that one day I would get you double that what you have lost today.”

I along with my friends started the business. We worked really hard. We spent many nights getting the trucks loaded and unloaded. The whole neighborhood would know the moment I stepped out of home and entered into the street – thanks to the bullet I got while I was a good boy working 9 to 5. Slowly and steadily the business worked well and from the useless spoilt brats, we emerged into well looked upon business men.

Today, my wife proudly says that I kept my promise and returned her load in triples and fourths instead of doubles. This was my bold step to break free from a job I never loved and follow my heart. My better half took the step ahead with me to start a new life.