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Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Reasons Backing Some Superstitious Beliefs

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Call them Superstitions, old wives tales or anything else, there are some sayings or rituals which become such an integral part of our lives that we keep on following and passing them on generation to generation.

Being modern does not always mean that we simply refuse to abide by certain rituals. At the same time, following them blindly is also not the only option. Some time back I posted some of very common superstitious beliefs and the reason behind them - Following Traditions may also be Modern

Below are some more rituals which actually had a reason behind them and not all of them are valid now.

Bathe after attending a funeral ceremony
"Do not touch anything and go straight to bathroom cleaning yourself and the clothes", almost all of us would have heard this from our mother or someone else. It's just a mere superstition that coming back from a funeral is a bad omen or attracts spirits.
The real reason is more logical and scientific. Dead bodies, similar to people having communicable diseases might cause infection. Adding on to this, the dead bodies gradually starts to decompose thus creating bacteria. Thus is is always advisable to take a bath and wipe of the contagious diseases. Plus, unlike lucky us, our ancestors did not have vaccination against many deadly and contagious diseases. Therefore, they made this rule which is now followed blindly in the name of ritual and spirits.

Wait for a while if a cat crosses your path
People get chilled to their bones if they see a cat crossing their path. If the cat happens to be black, it is considered even worse.
Here is the story behind this: In the times, when there were few means of transport, people used to travel at night and by bullock carts. While passing by a forest (which were not a rare district unlike today), some ferocious animal like leopard, panther or a lion could cross the path. No one would like to risk their lives by going nearer to them. Hence, better wait for a while and let them go. They obviously looked black in no or moon light.  Thus came the concept of black.
Also, as the eyes of animals usually glows in dark, the oxes or cows got scared knowing that a dangerous animal is ahead. It is difficult to control an already scared animal.
For god's sake, please spare the poor cats and the black ones are clearly the victim of racisim.

Unlucky numbers - 3 and 13
"Teen Tigada Kaam Bigada" is very common phrase. I am yet to see a hotel with room number 13 or a lift with floor number 13. These numbers are considered unlucky all over the world. Well, as they say, 'Everything happens for a reason', there are stories behind these numbers also.
Number 3: "Three on a match" has the basis from wars. It is believed that when the first soldier lit his cigarette, enemy from other end can see the spark ()No smoke with out a spark). If the second soldier continues to lit his cigarette, the enemy can easily be sure and aim at the target. In case, the third ones flows in, the enemy side can now be dead- sure and shoot. Cigarette smoking is not only dangerous to health but to the nations also!
Unlucky 13: The actual reason behind this is that as the religion stories says, that there were 13 people present at the table when Jesus had his last supper. one among them was a betrayer ad led to the death of living god. Thus, the number is termed unlucky. But still, the followers of Jesus dreading this number is still understood to a level. What about other religions?


Make a wish while throwing coin in holly river
This is another common sight all over the world.  Well, it might not make the wish come true, but was definitely useful for people drinking water from those water bodies.
In ancient times, people used to drink water direct from rivers and other sources. The sources of water thus became precious and slowly turned holly.
Coming to the coins, have you ever heard that keeping water in a copper container overnight and drinking it in morning is good for health? Bingo! In ancient times, coins were made of copper. Rivers being the source of drinking water  specially ones which had copper coins for long in it were less infected with bacteria and became useful for those who drank it.
Now, when the coins are no loner made of copper and to top it, we have water purifiers, this practice does not make sense any more. More over, we have polluted our so called holly water, that the sight of them make our noses stink forget drinking.

Sneezing while leaving is unlucky
When we sneeze, we loose our control over ourselves for a fraction of seconds. Thus, it is not safe for the person to walk at that moment. He/she might bump in others too. Thus making it unsafe for others as well.

Sitting between the door is not good
This is another safety measure which has taken the form of baseless superstitions. It is not advisable to sit in between the doors or beams, because in case of any natural calamities, they tend to break and form an inverted triangle increasing the chances to hit and cause injuries.

Go on a fast and bribe the god
All of us have seen this in almost all religions. Well, fasting once in a while pleases the god or not, it would sure clean the digestive system and is good for health. Fasts in modern times can also be called fruit diet to detoxify the body.

The moment we are aware of real reasons behind common beliefs and practices, they start making some sense. some wise man very truly said - "Half knowledge is more dangerous than none".

Monday, May 2, 2016

Guilty Mom

Off late, my kiddo has been calling me in office and complaining that I did not bid him goodby while leaving for office. Actually I leave for office when he is asleep - his school starts at quarter to 9. He is suddenly being mamma's boy specially in mornings. Starting past week, I have been getting calls from home with people consoling him that why I did not bid him goodby. The kiddo has also been asking me at night time that I say b-bye to him while leaving in the morning.

This is how we looked today morning when I was just stepping out. I had hard time controlling my tears...

I feel so bad leaving the little child and tip toeing to office while my mother in law tries to console him. He settles down in a few minutes itself is a different story. Using the word bad is not appropriate to describe my feelings at that time. I feel horrible. Actually I have tiny tears sparkling in my eyes somewhere even when I am writing this.
I feel guilty...!
Guilty of making my baby crying.
Guilty of not making his wish to hug me when he wants to come true.
Guilty of not spending more time with him.
Guilty of being a working mom!

I know most of the readers knew the last line was coming up. Such moments make me think that probably I might consider taking a break and spend time with my kids for sometime. I am working by choice. Financially, my non working status would not affect my family in any means. But does that mean I have an option to leave my job and not feel guilty any more? Would it solve the problem?
Honestly, the mere thought of not working gives me goose bumps. No offences to anyone, but everyone has his/her own basic nature and I am not the kind of girl who can be at home. I dread household chores and enjoy my own free space while I am at work.
Coming back to the mom who feels guilty, I still wonder about the solution to this. I have read numerous articles about this feeling and almost all of them try their best to make me realise that I should not and never feel this way as spending quality time is more important rather than all time and many other reasons. To be true, at the end, none of them makes sense when my child tells me he misses me or does not want me to go.
Is it because of this emotion that I try and do my bit to fill the gap? I take him to sports complex even if he says one no matter how tired I am after I return in the evening. I make sure to check his diary and never let him go to school without his homework or any other activity been written. I read him his favourite bed time stories no matter how much I do not want to read that night. The list is endless. But again, stay at home moms also do all this. I am no exception. Then what is that I can do overcome the guilty?
Well, I guess, the only answer is accept and embrace it. No matter how hard I try, I would feel the same way some point or other. Even if not working, I would feel -
Guilty of scolding him too much,
Guilty of wanting to run away from him sometimes,
Guilty of being too strict,
Guilty of being too carefree,
Guilty of letting him eat that ice-cream and catching cough,
Guilty of almost everything.

Despite of all the guilt, I get the most satisfied heart every time I see my kids smiling.

Are you also a guilty mom sometimes? share your feelings and let the guilt pass by!
Do dads also feel the same way every now and then? I am sure they do. do share your share of thoughts.