Reasons Backing Some Superstitious Beliefs

Call them Superstitions, old wives tales or anything else, there are some sayings or rituals which become such an integral part of our lives that we keep on following and passing them on generation to generation.

Being modern does not always mean that we simply refuse to abide by certain rituals. At the same time, following them blindly is also not the only option. Some time back I posted some of very common superstitious beliefs and the reason behind them - Following Traditions may also be Modern

Below are some more rituals which actually had a reason behind them and not all of them are valid now.

Bathe after attending a funeral ceremony
"Do not touch anything and go straight to bathroom cleaning yourself and the clothes", almost all of us would have heard this from our mother or someone else. It's just a mere superstition that coming back from a funeral is a bad omen or attracts spirits.
The real reason is more logical and scientific. Dead bodies, similar to people having communicable diseases might cause infection. Adding on to this, the dead bodies gradually starts to decompose thus creating bacteria. Thus is is always advisable to take a bath and wipe of the contagious diseases. Plus, unlike lucky us, our ancestors did not have vaccination against many deadly and contagious diseases. Therefore, they made this rule which is now followed blindly in the name of ritual and spirits.

Wait for a while if a cat crosses your path
People get chilled to their bones if they see a cat crossing their path. If the cat happens to be black, it is considered even worse.
Here is the story behind this: In the times, when there were few means of transport, people used to travel at night and by bullock carts. While passing by a forest (which were not a rare district unlike today), some ferocious animal like leopard, panther or a lion could cross the path. No one would like to risk their lives by going nearer to them. Hence, better wait for a while and let them go. They obviously looked black in no or moon light.  Thus came the concept of black.
Also, as the eyes of animals usually glows in dark, the oxes or cows got scared knowing that a dangerous animal is ahead. It is difficult to control an already scared animal.
For god's sake, please spare the poor cats and the black ones are clearly the victim of racisim.

Unlucky numbers - 3 and 13
"Teen Tigada Kaam Bigada" is very common phrase. I am yet to see a hotel with room number 13 or a lift with floor number 13. These numbers are considered unlucky all over the world. Well, as they say, 'Everything happens for a reason', there are stories behind these numbers also.
Number 3: "Three on a match" has the basis from wars. It is believed that when the first soldier lit his cigarette, enemy from other end can see the spark ()No smoke with out a spark). If the second soldier continues to lit his cigarette, the enemy can easily be sure and aim at the target. In case, the third ones flows in, the enemy side can now be dead- sure and shoot. Cigarette smoking is not only dangerous to health but to the nations also!
Unlucky 13: The actual reason behind this is that as the religion stories says, that there were 13 people present at the table when Jesus had his last supper. one among them was a betrayer ad led to the death of living god. Thus, the number is termed unlucky. But still, the followers of Jesus dreading this number is still understood to a level. What about other religions?


Make a wish while throwing coin in holly river
This is another common sight all over the world.  Well, it might not make the wish come true, but was definitely useful for people drinking water from those water bodies.
In ancient times, people used to drink water direct from rivers and other sources. The sources of water thus became precious and slowly turned holly.
Coming to the coins, have you ever heard that keeping water in a copper container overnight and drinking it in morning is good for health? Bingo! In ancient times, coins were made of copper. Rivers being the source of drinking water  specially ones which had copper coins for long in it were less infected with bacteria and became useful for those who drank it.
Now, when the coins are no loner made of copper and to top it, we have water purifiers, this practice does not make sense any more. More over, we have polluted our so called holly water, that the sight of them make our noses stink forget drinking.

Sneezing while leaving is unlucky
When we sneeze, we loose our control over ourselves for a fraction of seconds. Thus, it is not safe for the person to walk at that moment. He/she might bump in others too. Thus making it unsafe for others as well.

Sitting between the door is not good
This is another safety measure which has taken the form of baseless superstitions. It is not advisable to sit in between the doors or beams, because in case of any natural calamities, they tend to break and form an inverted triangle increasing the chances to hit and cause injuries.

Go on a fast and bribe the god
All of us have seen this in almost all religions. Well, fasting once in a while pleases the god or not, it would sure clean the digestive system and is good for health. Fasts in modern times can also be called fruit diet to detoxify the body.

The moment we are aware of real reasons behind common beliefs and practices, they start making some sense. some wise man very truly said - "Half knowledge is more dangerous than none".

Guilty Mom

Off late, my kiddo has been calling me in office and complaining that I did not bid him goodby while leaving for office. Actually I leave for office when he is asleep - his school starts at quarter to 9. He is suddenly being mamma's boy specially in mornings. Starting past week, I have been getting calls from home with people consoling him that why I did not bid him goodby. The kiddo has also been asking me at night time that I say b-bye to him while leaving in the morning.

This is how we looked today morning when I was just stepping out. I had hard time controlling my tears...

I feel so bad leaving the little child and tip toeing to office while my mother in law tries to console him. He settles down in a few minutes itself is a different story. Using the word bad is not appropriate to describe my feelings at that time. I feel horrible. Actually I have tiny tears sparkling in my eyes somewhere even when I am writing this.
I feel guilty...!
Guilty of making my baby crying.
Guilty of not making his wish to hug me when he wants to come true.
Guilty of not spending more time with him.
Guilty of being a working mom!

I know most of the readers knew the last line was coming up. Such moments make me think that probably I might consider taking a break and spend time with my kids for sometime. I am working by choice. Financially, my non working status would not affect my family in any means. But does that mean I have an option to leave my job and not feel guilty any more? Would it solve the problem?
Honestly, the mere thought of not working gives me goose bumps. No offences to anyone, but everyone has his/her own basic nature and I am not the kind of girl who can be at home. I dread household chores and enjoy my own free space while I am at work.
Coming back to the mom who feels guilty, I still wonder about the solution to this. I have read numerous articles about this feeling and almost all of them try their best to make me realise that I should not and never feel this way as spending quality time is more important rather than all time and many other reasons. To be true, at the end, none of them makes sense when my child tells me he misses me or does not want me to go.
Is it because of this emotion that I try and do my bit to fill the gap? I take him to sports complex even if he says one no matter how tired I am after I return in the evening. I make sure to check his diary and never let him go to school without his homework or any other activity been written. I read him his favourite bed time stories no matter how much I do not want to read that night. The list is endless. But again, stay at home moms also do all this. I am no exception. Then what is that I can do overcome the guilty?
Well, I guess, the only answer is accept and embrace it. No matter how hard I try, I would feel the same way some point or other. Even if not working, I would feel -
Guilty of scolding him too much,
Guilty of wanting to run away from him sometimes,
Guilty of being too strict,
Guilty of being too carefree,
Guilty of letting him eat that ice-cream and catching cough,
Guilty of almost everything.

Despite of all the guilt, I get the most satisfied heart every time I see my kids smiling.

Are you also a guilty mom sometimes? share your feelings and let the guilt pass by!
Do dads also feel the same way every now and then? I am sure they do. do share your share of thoughts.

Gynac Fever

Some time back, I attended a session conducted in my office about cervical cancer. The presenter, a doctor in some leading hospital shared her experience on the statistics. She told us that she lived for seven years in US and had only one patient for the disease during her stay. The girl was again an Indian. Back in her country she served in New Delhi Safdarjung hospital and every 10th woman woman who consults her is suffering with the deadly disease.

The above statistics although personal not only reveals the shocking and insightful need of awareness in the particular disease but at the same time, might have a deep and hidden truth about society - The Gynaecologist Fever. It's the reluctance to visit the gynaecologist.
Blame it on general mentality or popular beliefs - visiting a Gynaecologist is considered a taboo. The visit is generally linked to having sex - another taboo!
There are many other factors which leads to less than required or no visits to a Gynaecologist:

1. Sex taboo.
2. Reluctance to talk about private parts.
3. Uncomfortable check-ups - honestly, even after having two kids, I still feel a bit uncomfortable for a minute!
4. Linking Pap smear tests to loosing virginity - no doubt tampons are a failure in our country.
5. Myth that a visit to Gynaecologist implies some problem related to motherhood.

Awareness and right information is the only medicine for this fever. The sooner women realise that at the end it's their own body and they have to suffer because of negligence, sooner the cure would be available. We must understand that it's a normal visit to another doctor who is just pronounced differently.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Feminism - Stigma

I honestly wonder what's the fuss about this simple term. So I went to Google and searched for the definition of Feminism.

Then, I modified my search and the mere search options that pop up when we type some words stopped me from hitting the enter key. The snapshots say it all.

Common belief about feminism is that it is about women trying to rule over men by hook or crook. Actually, feminism is all about gender equality and empowerment.

Are you against any ill practice towards women?
Have you ever felt sorry for a woman?
Do you think that women should know self defence?
Did you ever think that your mother deserves more respect as compared to your father?

Did you nodded or answered yes to any of the above?

Congratulations, you are a feminist. And trust me, you are do not exhibit any of the negative traits as popularly searched by other feminists who simple refuse to believe they are.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Equal Pay

Job description : Write the word "hello" on a paper with a pen.

I write "hello".
You write "hello".
She writes "hello".
He writes "hello".

I, you, she and he - all get paid to do the job. What should be the payment for everyone?
Ideally, It must be equal for all. Sadly, this is not the case in real world. Generally, females are at a loss. When an average of pay for same job is taken for different genders, the results vary in terms of percentage.

The situation is also dependent on the level of seniority. Starting levels are generally equally paid. The pay difference rises with changes of level, changes of marital status and changes of parenthood status. The fact that it's true can easily be judged by the percentage of females at higher executive positions in almost any field. The number although improving, continues to stand at very disappointing state.

The whole world is fighting for the equality of pay for equal work. I so wish the day when this would no longer be a figure comes soon.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Dowry system

I think if we go and look at the history, Dowry was actually not an evil practice. It was a means to distribute parent’s wealth equally among all their children - sons and daughters. Dowry in the form of gifts, wealth and property was given to the bride to maintain her own financial and social independence.

With the time, human instinct took over and people started taking undue advantages of the practice. Slowly, the things gifted to the bride turned to the groom and his family.  I am sure that the day when a groom or his family demanded any sort of gift from bride or her family must have been the starting point of  converting it into present state.

Today, the moment a girl is born in the family, parents starts saving for her marriage. The dowry system has been rooted so deeply that many people end up being the victims unknowingly.

Crown on her head,

Smile on her lips,

Frills in her dress,

Even when they went missing,

She was the princess of family.

They let her go,

High on hopes,

Hands in the prince,

To be the queen.

Throne, full of taunts,

Spiked with bruises,

She served the rule,

Paid the price.

Of not getting jewellery,

Of not getting dowry,

Of being a girl!

Right to education is one solution to this problem. But then, the past has proved that even education is not enough to curb dowry. The root cause is the mentality of society. Dowry is nowadays considered as a matter of pride.

Some rich man gave a shining luxury car to his daughter. Some richer man gifted a gold pendant to all guests in his daughter wedding. There are some phrases which force people to show off more and more. At the same time, incidents like these exert unbearable pressure on middle class and poor families. They eventually end up spending all their hard earned money on the weddings and some even borrow it as well.

Some guy refused to take any gift from the girl's family. Some well settled family married it's son to a poor family and shared the marriage expenses. Incidents like these are also heard these days, but are very rare and soon forgotten. Time has come people start taking inspiration from latter ones rather than getting pressurized from former ones.

A girl sent her barat back when she heard her to be father in law demanding dowry. Incidents like this are very-very rare. I think they are the one which are most powerful and motivational. We must try and encourager such brave hearts to a life full of happiness rather than reminding them about the negative consequences in society hence followed.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Child Marriage

She loved her toys,
As did the boys.
Her life was same,
As all children.

She loved the game,
She played a wife,
She enacted a mother,
All in innocence.

She was happy,
Replacing her doll,
She felt excited.
Little did she knew,
Expectations the act bear.

Sea of tears,
End of childhood,
Forced womanhood,
Unrealistic expectations,
All that followed,
The remorseful farewell.

Girls playing with their dolls and enacting to marry them is a common sight among all households. The scene is actually quite cute. But the society took it literally and started imitating it by marrying of kids who are equivalent to dolls themselves. While such kids include both boys and girls, the percentage of girls is on much higher side.

Why Child Marriage
1. Illiteracy
Lack of education results in non-awareness of the ill-effects child marriages cause to children's life. The girls with proper education even if married early are less likely to have motherhood in younger age thus reducing one of the major issue.
2. Poverty
Families which are financially stable generally marry their girls at a more adolescent age. The poor the family is, the more pressure they suffer to get their daughters married as soon as possible.
3. Human Trafficking
Many poor families in some areas actually sell off girls in the name of marriage for the exchange of money to support their families. Such girls have to face the gruesome effects of trafficking including mental and physical (sexual as well as non-sexual)tortures.
4. Gender Discrimination
In many cultures, girls are married at an early age to prevent their virginity. Another case of gender discrimination can be seen when the widowers irrespective of their age are remarried to younger girls.
5. Following traditions blindly
Some cultures follow the tradition of child marriages with baseless beliefs like adolescent and educated girls have diluted minds and they loose their capability of managing the family of they are unmarried for long.

It is needless to say that the impact of child marriage is harmful on both boys and girls. But then, the expectations and health - physical as well as mental impacts are more serious for the girls.
I believe that the only way to curb child marriages is through education. The more educated people are more they are aware about fatal consequences of such practices.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Birth Control Responsibility

While the Indian government is having a tough time controlling the population ever since, women in the country are facing yet another issue - The Responsibility of Birth Control. And yes, this topic is rarely talked about.
When it comes to taking on the responsibility of contraception, the proud men of house generally take a back seat. Surprisingly, science has also been in favour of male counterparts. Let's Take look at the most common contraceptive options available to women:
Pills
Sterilisation
IUD - Intrauterine Device popularly known as copper-T
There are other options aswell, but again mass of population is not aware about them.
And the options available for males - Condoms and Sterilisation.

Honestly speaking, I am yet to personally find a man who went under the knife and opted for sterilisation. Condoms - times are surely changing, but still for most couples, men try and avoid them as much as possible.  Here are some statements I have heard my friends telling me they hear:
You won't get pregnant on the first time itself. (Mostly for first nights)
I would not come inside, you know my self control.
The fun and enjoyment becomes half with this.
We can go for the emergency contraceptive this time!

It totally depends upon individual choice of couples that who wants to take up the responsibility, but  the bitter truth is that generally it's transferred to the lady. I absolutely see no harm in that unless it causes any health problems to the woman, but the fact is that pregnancy involves two people and both must share the responsibility.

Many women end up taking the task because of course the consequences affect women on a much larger scale then men and after all it's their own body. At the same time, many men very irresponsibly skip it because the results would not affect them very much. It is this mentality which is the concern and need to be addressed.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Abortion - Female Foeticide

Every now and then, somewhere around the world, a tiny innocent life is taken brutally just because it's bearers discover that it's a girl. Female foeticide - the practice of aborting a girl child while it's still in mothers womb is illegal in almost every country.
Despite of being illegal, girls child is many times not let to take birth or killed immediately after birth or worse - left unwanted to its destiny.

I know the title of post is not pleasing enough to read, but then, it's the fact. Name it anything, killing, foeticide or anything - finally it is an abortion. There are times when aborting the child is definitely required, but there has to be a valid, rational or rather moral reason behind that. Not wanting that life just because it's a girl or boy and thus might lead to some changes in lifestyle is by  no means acceptable.

Below are some lines which I think the little butterflies would have spoken if they were asked after being the unfortunate victim to ironical practice of Female Foeticide:

You cheered when I dropped,

The family celebrated when you announced,

The people judged when I formed,

The cheer turned in agony when you learned.

My blood would have been the same,

My first cry,

My first smile,

My first step,

My first word,

Except the gender,

All would have been same.

Only if, my eyes were opened,

If, I was allowed,

To form,

To arrive,

To grow...!

The major reason behind these killings right inside the womb is - Desire of a boy. People in our society have developed a culture where everyone thinks that a boy becomes the support system of parents in their old age while girls are a burden. The girls are considered a burden because of the dowry system and the fact that they move to their husband's place after marriage.
We need to open up our mind, eyes and ears with the changing times. People must understand that the situations have changed. Girls were not able to help very much earlier because:
1. Their marital places used to be far away and it took too long to send help because of poor modes of transport.
2. The modes of communications were almost nil- no phones. Thus, by the time need of help reached the daughters and they tried to help, it was generally too late.
3. Female members of home had limited access to finances.

All the above points stands void in present times. Considering the religious sentiments as-well, in our country India, a girl child or a daughter in law is termed an equivalent of Goddess  Laxmi(Money). Thus killing her for the need to a son which ultimately drills down to financial reasons is something that stands unanswered and raised eyebrows.
While it's absolutely fine to call the boys "Kul Ka Deepak"(lamp of the family heritage), it's equally insulting to call the girls "Paraya Dhan"(someone else's money).
People need to keep the the ironical proverbs on Deepak in mind - "diya tale andhera", the lamps fail to lighten up the area below themselves.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEM'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

A to Z Challenge 2016 Theme Reveal - WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEM

I know I am late! But still, I have to post this...

Come April and every blogger participating in April A to Z Challenge stands on his/toes. This is my second year to participating and like last year, I would leave no stone un-turned to complete the same.
While choosing a theme is not mandatory, but believe me, it helps a lot. When one has a theme in mind, choosing the topic to write about becomes comparatively easy.

The theme of the challenge on my blog last year was - WOMEN IN A TO Z PROFESSIONS. It was a busy busy month for me and I lost the count of searches I made to find those women on the web.

This time, my theme is again inclined to Women. I am still shivering from inside on choosing the heavy topics I would need to write about. The theme for my April A to Z Challenge 2016 is "WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEM". With so much emphasis around women, there are still so many issues that persists in our society. Each day, I would pick an issue - social/health or may be something other and share my views on the same. 

Do I have my drafts ready? 
No! Well, at-least I have the topics ready for most of the letters except letter X and Z. Please drop in comments section if you have some topic on these letters.

Wish me luck...!

A to Z CHALLENGE 2016
Sunday		Monday		Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
							1	2
							Abortion - Female Foeticide	Birth Control Responsibility
3	4		5		6	7	8	9
	Child Marriage		Dowry System		Equal Pay	Feminism	Gynac Fever	H
10	11		12		13	14	15	16
	I		J		K	Law Of Nature	M	N
17	18		19		20	21	22	23
	O		P		Q	R	S	T
24	25		26		27	28	29	30
	U		V		W	X	Y	Z

Are you participating in the challenge this year? If yes, do have a theme in mind?
Share it with the readers and give them a glimpse of your blog for the coming days.
Read the theme for other participants - here.