Gynac Fever

Some time back, I attended a session conducted in my office about cervical cancer. The presenter, a doctor in some leading hospital shared her experience on the statistics. She told us that she lived for seven years in US and had only one patient for the disease during her stay. The girl was again an Indian. Back in her country she served in New Delhi Safdarjung hospital and every 10th woman woman who consults her is suffering with the deadly disease.

The above statistics although personal not only reveals the shocking and insightful need of awareness in the particular disease but at the same time, might have a deep and hidden truth about society - The Gynaecologist Fever. It's the reluctance to visit the gynaecologist.
Blame it on general mentality or popular beliefs - visiting a Gynaecologist is considered a taboo. The visit is generally linked to having sex - another taboo!
There are many other factors which leads to less than required or no visits to a Gynaecologist:

1. Sex taboo.
2. Reluctance to talk about private parts.
3. Uncomfortable check-ups - honestly, even after having two kids, I still feel a bit uncomfortable for a minute!
4. Linking Pap smear tests to loosing virginity - no doubt tampons are a failure in our country.
5. Myth that a visit to Gynaecologist implies some problem related to motherhood.

Awareness and right information is the only medicine for this fever. The sooner women realise that at the end it's their own body and they have to suffer because of negligence, sooner the cure would be available. We must understand that it's a normal visit to another doctor who is just pronounced differently.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Feminism - Stigma

I honestly wonder what's the fuss about this simple term. So I went to Google and searched for the definition of Feminism.

Then, I modified my search and the mere search options that pop up when we type some words stopped me from hitting the enter key. The snapshots say it all.

Common belief about feminism is that it is about women trying to rule over men by hook or crook. Actually, feminism is all about gender equality and empowerment.

Are you against any ill practice towards women?
Have you ever felt sorry for a woman?
Do you think that women should know self defence?
Did you ever think that your mother deserves more respect as compared to your father?

Did you nodded or answered yes to any of the above?

Congratulations, you are a feminist. And trust me, you are do not exhibit any of the negative traits as popularly searched by other feminists who simple refuse to believe they are.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Equal Pay

Job description : Write the word "hello" on a paper with a pen.

I write "hello".
You write "hello".
She writes "hello".
He writes "hello".

I, you, she and he - all get paid to do the job. What should be the payment for everyone?
Ideally, It must be equal for all. Sadly, this is not the case in real world. Generally, females are at a loss. When an average of pay for same job is taken for different genders, the results vary in terms of percentage.

The situation is also dependent on the level of seniority. Starting levels are generally equally paid. The pay difference rises with changes of level, changes of marital status and changes of parenthood status. The fact that it's true can easily be judged by the percentage of females at higher executive positions in almost any field. The number although improving, continues to stand at very disappointing state.

The whole world is fighting for the equality of pay for equal work. I so wish the day when this would no longer be a figure comes soon.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Dowry system

I think if we go and look at the history, Dowry was actually not an evil practice. It was a means to distribute parent’s wealth equally among all their children - sons and daughters. Dowry in the form of gifts, wealth and property was given to the bride to maintain her own financial and social independence.

With the time, human instinct took over and people started taking undue advantages of the practice. Slowly, the things gifted to the bride turned to the groom and his family.  I am sure that the day when a groom or his family demanded any sort of gift from bride or her family must have been the starting point of  converting it into present state.

Today, the moment a girl is born in the family, parents starts saving for her marriage. The dowry system has been rooted so deeply that many people end up being the victims unknowingly.

Crown on her head,

Smile on her lips,

Frills in her dress,

Even when they went missing,

She was the princess of family.

They let her go,

High on hopes,

Hands in the prince,

To be the queen.

Throne, full of taunts,

Spiked with bruises,

She served the rule,

Paid the price.

Of not getting jewellery,

Of not getting dowry,

Of being a girl!

Right to education is one solution to this problem. But then, the past has proved that even education is not enough to curb dowry. The root cause is the mentality of society. Dowry is nowadays considered as a matter of pride.

Some rich man gave a shining luxury car to his daughter. Some richer man gifted a gold pendant to all guests in his daughter wedding. There are some phrases which force people to show off more and more. At the same time, incidents like these exert unbearable pressure on middle class and poor families. They eventually end up spending all their hard earned money on the weddings and some even borrow it as well.

Some guy refused to take any gift from the girl's family. Some well settled family married it's son to a poor family and shared the marriage expenses. Incidents like these are also heard these days, but are very rare and soon forgotten. Time has come people start taking inspiration from latter ones rather than getting pressurized from former ones.

A girl sent her barat back when she heard her to be father in law demanding dowry. Incidents like this are very-very rare. I think they are the one which are most powerful and motivational. We must try and encourager such brave hearts to a life full of happiness rather than reminding them about the negative consequences in society hence followed.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Child Marriage

She loved her toys,
As did the boys.
Her life was same,
As all children.

She loved the game,
She played a wife,
She enacted a mother,
All in innocence.

She was happy,
Replacing her doll,
She felt excited.
Little did she knew,
Expectations the act bear.

Sea of tears,
End of childhood,
Forced womanhood,
Unrealistic expectations,
All that followed,
The remorseful farewell.

Girls playing with their dolls and enacting to marry them is a common sight among all households. The scene is actually quite cute. But the society took it literally and started imitating it by marrying of kids who are equivalent to dolls themselves. While such kids include both boys and girls, the percentage of girls is on much higher side.

Why Child Marriage
1. Illiteracy
Lack of education results in non-awareness of the ill-effects child marriages cause to children's life. The girls with proper education even if married early are less likely to have motherhood in younger age thus reducing one of the major issue.
2. Poverty
Families which are financially stable generally marry their girls at a more adolescent age. The poor the family is, the more pressure they suffer to get their daughters married as soon as possible.
3. Human Trafficking
Many poor families in some areas actually sell off girls in the name of marriage for the exchange of money to support their families. Such girls have to face the gruesome effects of trafficking including mental and physical (sexual as well as non-sexual)tortures.
4. Gender Discrimination
In many cultures, girls are married at an early age to prevent their virginity. Another case of gender discrimination can be seen when the widowers irrespective of their age are remarried to younger girls.
5. Following traditions blindly
Some cultures follow the tradition of child marriages with baseless beliefs like adolescent and educated girls have diluted minds and they loose their capability of managing the family of they are unmarried for long.

It is needless to say that the impact of child marriage is harmful on both boys and girls. But then, the expectations and health - physical as well as mental impacts are more serious for the girls.
I believe that the only way to curb child marriages is through education. The more educated people are more they are aware about fatal consequences of such practices.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Birth Control Responsibility

While the Indian government is having a tough time controlling the population ever since, women in the country are facing yet another issue - The Responsibility of Birth Control. And yes, this topic is rarely talked about.
When it comes to taking on the responsibility of contraception, the proud men of house generally take a back seat. Surprisingly, science has also been in favour of male counterparts. Let's Take look at the most common contraceptive options available to women:
Pills
Sterilisation
IUD - Intrauterine Device popularly known as copper-T
There are other options aswell, but again mass of population is not aware about them.
And the options available for males - Condoms and Sterilisation.

Honestly speaking, I am yet to personally find a man who went under the knife and opted for sterilisation. Condoms - times are surely changing, but still for most couples, men try and avoid them as much as possible.  Here are some statements I have heard my friends telling me they hear:
You won't get pregnant on the first time itself. (Mostly for first nights)
I would not come inside, you know my self control.
The fun and enjoyment becomes half with this.
We can go for the emergency contraceptive this time!

It totally depends upon individual choice of couples that who wants to take up the responsibility, but  the bitter truth is that generally it's transferred to the lady. I absolutely see no harm in that unless it causes any health problems to the woman, but the fact is that pregnancy involves two people and both must share the responsibility.

Many women end up taking the task because of course the consequences affect women on a much larger scale then men and after all it's their own body. At the same time, many men very irresponsibly skip it because the results would not affect them very much. It is this mentality which is the concern and need to be addressed.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Abortion - Female Foeticide

Every now and then, somewhere around the world, a tiny innocent life is taken brutally just because it's bearers discover that it's a girl. Female foeticide - the practice of aborting a girl child while it's still in mothers womb is illegal in almost every country.
Despite of being illegal, girls child is many times not let to take birth or killed immediately after birth or worse - left unwanted to its destiny.

I know the title of post is not pleasing enough to read, but then, it's the fact. Name it anything, killing, foeticide or anything - finally it is an abortion. There are times when aborting the child is definitely required, but there has to be a valid, rational or rather moral reason behind that. Not wanting that life just because it's a girl or boy and thus might lead to some changes in lifestyle is by  no means acceptable.

Below are some lines which I think the little butterflies would have spoken if they were asked after being the unfortunate victim to ironical practice of Female Foeticide:

You cheered when I dropped,

The family celebrated when you announced,

The people judged when I formed,

The cheer turned in agony when you learned.

My blood would have been the same,

My first cry,

My first smile,

My first step,

My first word,

Except the gender,

All would have been same.

Only if, my eyes were opened,

If, I was allowed,

To form,

To arrive,

To grow...!

The major reason behind these killings right inside the womb is - Desire of a boy. People in our society have developed a culture where everyone thinks that a boy becomes the support system of parents in their old age while girls are a burden. The girls are considered a burden because of the dowry system and the fact that they move to their husband's place after marriage.
We need to open up our mind, eyes and ears with the changing times. People must understand that the situations have changed. Girls were not able to help very much earlier because:
1. Their marital places used to be far away and it took too long to send help because of poor modes of transport.
2. The modes of communications were almost nil- no phones. Thus, by the time need of help reached the daughters and they tried to help, it was generally too late.
3. Female members of home had limited access to finances.

All the above points stands void in present times. Considering the religious sentiments as-well, in our country India, a girl child or a daughter in law is termed an equivalent of Goddess  Laxmi(Money). Thus killing her for the need to a son which ultimately drills down to financial reasons is something that stands unanswered and raised eyebrows.
While it's absolutely fine to call the boys "Kul Ka Deepak"(lamp of the family heritage), it's equally insulting to call the girls "Paraya Dhan"(someone else's money).
People need to keep the the ironical proverbs on Deepak in mind - "diya tale andhera", the lamps fail to lighten up the area below themselves.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEM'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.