Gynac Fever

Some time back, I attended a session conducted in my office about cervical cancer. The presenter, a doctor in some leading hospital shared her experience on the statistics. She told us that she lived for seven years in US and had only one patient for the disease during her stay. The girl was again an Indian. Back in her country she served in New Delhi Safdarjung hospital and every 10th woman woman who consults her is suffering with the deadly disease.

The above statistics although personal not only reveals the shocking and insightful need of awareness in the particular disease but at the same time, might have a deep and hidden truth about society - The Gynaecologist Fever. It's the reluctance to visit the gynaecologist.
Blame it on general mentality or popular beliefs - visiting a Gynaecologist is considered a taboo. The visit is generally linked to having sex - another taboo!
There are many other factors which leads to less than required or no visits to a Gynaecologist:

1. Sex taboo.
2. Reluctance to talk about private parts.
3. Uncomfortable check-ups - honestly, even after having two kids, I still feel a bit uncomfortable for a minute!
4. Linking Pap smear tests to loosing virginity - no doubt tampons are a failure in our country.
5. Myth that a visit to Gynaecologist implies some problem related to motherhood.

Awareness and right information is the only medicine for this fever. The sooner women realise that at the end it's their own body and they have to suffer because of negligence, sooner the cure would be available. We must understand that it's a normal visit to another doctor who is just pronounced differently.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Feminism - Stigma

I honestly wonder what's the fuss about this simple term. So I went to Google and searched for the definition of Feminism.

Then, I modified my search and the mere search options that pop up when we type some words stopped me from hitting the enter key. The snapshots say it all.

Common belief about feminism is that it is about women trying to rule over men by hook or crook. Actually, feminism is all about gender equality and empowerment.

Are you against any ill practice towards women?
Have you ever felt sorry for a woman?
Do you think that women should know self defence?
Did you ever think that your mother deserves more respect as compared to your father?

Did you nodded or answered yes to any of the above?

Congratulations, you are a feminist. And trust me, you are do not exhibit any of the negative traits as popularly searched by other feminists who simple refuse to believe they are.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Equal Pay

Job description : Write the word "hello" on a paper with a pen.

I write "hello".
You write "hello".
She writes "hello".
He writes "hello".

I, you, she and he - all get paid to do the job. What should be the payment for everyone?
Ideally, It must be equal for all. Sadly, this is not the case in real world. Generally, females are at a loss. When an average of pay for same job is taken for different genders, the results vary in terms of percentage.

The situation is also dependent on the level of seniority. Starting levels are generally equally paid. The pay difference rises with changes of level, changes of marital status and changes of parenthood status. The fact that it's true can easily be judged by the percentage of females at higher executive positions in almost any field. The number although improving, continues to stand at very disappointing state.

The whole world is fighting for the equality of pay for equal work. I so wish the day when this would no longer be a figure comes soon.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Dowry system

I think if we go and look at the history, Dowry was actually not an evil practice. It was a means to distribute parent’s wealth equally among all their children - sons and daughters. Dowry in the form of gifts, wealth and property was given to the bride to maintain her own financial and social independence.

With the time, human instinct took over and people started taking undue advantages of the practice. Slowly, the things gifted to the bride turned to the groom and his family.  I am sure that the day when a groom or his family demanded any sort of gift from bride or her family must have been the starting point of  converting it into present state.

Today, the moment a girl is born in the family, parents starts saving for her marriage. The dowry system has been rooted so deeply that many people end up being the victims unknowingly.

Crown on her head,

Smile on her lips,

Frills in her dress,

Even when they went missing,

She was the princess of family.

They let her go,

High on hopes,

Hands in the prince,

To be the queen.

Throne, full of taunts,

Spiked with bruises,

She served the rule,

Paid the price.

Of not getting jewellery,

Of not getting dowry,

Of being a girl!

Right to education is one solution to this problem. But then, the past has proved that even education is not enough to curb dowry. The root cause is the mentality of society. Dowry is nowadays considered as a matter of pride.

Some rich man gave a shining luxury car to his daughter. Some richer man gifted a gold pendant to all guests in his daughter wedding. There are some phrases which force people to show off more and more. At the same time, incidents like these exert unbearable pressure on middle class and poor families. They eventually end up spending all their hard earned money on the weddings and some even borrow it as well.

Some guy refused to take any gift from the girl's family. Some well settled family married it's son to a poor family and shared the marriage expenses. Incidents like these are also heard these days, but are very rare and soon forgotten. Time has come people start taking inspiration from latter ones rather than getting pressurized from former ones.

A girl sent her barat back when she heard her to be father in law demanding dowry. Incidents like this are very-very rare. I think they are the one which are most powerful and motivational. We must try and encourager such brave hearts to a life full of happiness rather than reminding them about the negative consequences in society hence followed.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Child Marriage

She loved her toys,
As did the boys.
Her life was same,
As all children.

She loved the game,
She played a wife,
She enacted a mother,
All in innocence.

She was happy,
Replacing her doll,
She felt excited.
Little did she knew,
Expectations the act bear.

Sea of tears,
End of childhood,
Forced womanhood,
Unrealistic expectations,
All that followed,
The remorseful farewell.

Girls playing with their dolls and enacting to marry them is a common sight among all households. The scene is actually quite cute. But the society took it literally and started imitating it by marrying of kids who are equivalent to dolls themselves. While such kids include both boys and girls, the percentage of girls is on much higher side.

Why Child Marriage
1. Illiteracy
Lack of education results in non-awareness of the ill-effects child marriages cause to children's life. The girls with proper education even if married early are less likely to have motherhood in younger age thus reducing one of the major issue.
2. Poverty
Families which are financially stable generally marry their girls at a more adolescent age. The poor the family is, the more pressure they suffer to get their daughters married as soon as possible.
3. Human Trafficking
Many poor families in some areas actually sell off girls in the name of marriage for the exchange of money to support their families. Such girls have to face the gruesome effects of trafficking including mental and physical (sexual as well as non-sexual)tortures.
4. Gender Discrimination
In many cultures, girls are married at an early age to prevent their virginity. Another case of gender discrimination can be seen when the widowers irrespective of their age are remarried to younger girls.
5. Following traditions blindly
Some cultures follow the tradition of child marriages with baseless beliefs like adolescent and educated girls have diluted minds and they loose their capability of managing the family of they are unmarried for long.

It is needless to say that the impact of child marriage is harmful on both boys and girls. But then, the expectations and health - physical as well as mental impacts are more serious for the girls.
I believe that the only way to curb child marriages is through education. The more educated people are more they are aware about fatal consequences of such practices.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Birth Control Responsibility

While the Indian government is having a tough time controlling the population ever since, women in the country are facing yet another issue - The Responsibility of Birth Control. And yes, this topic is rarely talked about.
When it comes to taking on the responsibility of contraception, the proud men of house generally take a back seat. Surprisingly, science has also been in favour of male counterparts. Let's Take look at the most common contraceptive options available to women:
Pills
Sterilisation
IUD - Intrauterine Device popularly known as copper-T
There are other options aswell, but again mass of population is not aware about them.
And the options available for males - Condoms and Sterilisation.

Honestly speaking, I am yet to personally find a man who went under the knife and opted for sterilisation. Condoms - times are surely changing, but still for most couples, men try and avoid them as much as possible.  Here are some statements I have heard my friends telling me they hear:
You won't get pregnant on the first time itself. (Mostly for first nights)
I would not come inside, you know my self control.
The fun and enjoyment becomes half with this.
We can go for the emergency contraceptive this time!

It totally depends upon individual choice of couples that who wants to take up the responsibility, but  the bitter truth is that generally it's transferred to the lady. I absolutely see no harm in that unless it causes any health problems to the woman, but the fact is that pregnancy involves two people and both must share the responsibility.

Many women end up taking the task because of course the consequences affect women on a much larger scale then men and after all it's their own body. At the same time, many men very irresponsibly skip it because the results would not affect them very much. It is this mentality which is the concern and need to be addressed.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEME'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

Abortion - Female Foeticide

Every now and then, somewhere around the world, a tiny innocent life is taken brutally just because it's bearers discover that it's a girl. Female foeticide - the practice of aborting a girl child while it's still in mothers womb is illegal in almost every country.
Despite of being illegal, girls child is many times not let to take birth or killed immediately after birth or worse - left unwanted to its destiny.

I know the title of post is not pleasing enough to read, but then, it's the fact. Name it anything, killing, foeticide or anything - finally it is an abortion. There are times when aborting the child is definitely required, but there has to be a valid, rational or rather moral reason behind that. Not wanting that life just because it's a girl or boy and thus might lead to some changes in lifestyle is by  no means acceptable.

Below are some lines which I think the little butterflies would have spoken if they were asked after being the unfortunate victim to ironical practice of Female Foeticide:

You cheered when I dropped,

The family celebrated when you announced,

The people judged when I formed,

The cheer turned in agony when you learned.

My blood would have been the same,

My first cry,

My first smile,

My first step,

My first word,

Except the gender,

All would have been same.

Only if, my eyes were opened,

If, I was allowed,

To form,

To arrive,

To grow...!

The major reason behind these killings right inside the womb is - Desire of a boy. People in our society have developed a culture where everyone thinks that a boy becomes the support system of parents in their old age while girls are a burden. The girls are considered a burden because of the dowry system and the fact that they move to their husband's place after marriage.
We need to open up our mind, eyes and ears with the changing times. People must understand that the situations have changed. Girls were not able to help very much earlier because:
1. Their marital places used to be far away and it took too long to send help because of poor modes of transport.
2. The modes of communications were almost nil- no phones. Thus, by the time need of help reached the daughters and they tried to help, it was generally too late.
3. Female members of home had limited access to finances.

All the above points stands void in present times. Considering the religious sentiments as-well, in our country India, a girl child or a daughter in law is termed an equivalent of Goddess  Laxmi(Money). Thus killing her for the need to a son which ultimately drills down to financial reasons is something that stands unanswered and raised eyebrows.
While it's absolutely fine to call the boys "Kul Ka Deepak"(lamp of the family heritage), it's equally insulting to call the girls "Paraya Dhan"(someone else's money).
People need to keep the the ironical proverbs on Deepak in mind - "diya tale andhera", the lamps fail to lighten up the area below themselves.

This post is written as a part of April 2015 A to Z Challenge. My theme for this year is 'WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEM'. Click at the link to check other common issues women face in and their respective links.

A to Z Challenge 2016 Theme Reveal - WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEM

I know I am late! But still, I have to post this...

Come April and every blogger participating in April A to Z Challenge stands on his/toes. This is my second year to participating and like last year, I would leave no stone un-turned to complete the same.
While choosing a theme is not mandatory, but believe me, it helps a lot. When one has a theme in mind, choosing the topic to write about becomes comparatively easy.

The theme of the challenge on my blog last year was - WOMEN IN A TO Z PROFESSIONS. It was a busy busy month for me and I lost the count of searches I made to find those women on the web.

This time, my theme is again inclined to Women. I am still shivering from inside on choosing the heavy topics I would need to write about. The theme for my April A to Z Challenge 2016 is "WOMEN and ISSUES AROUND THEM". With so much emphasis around women, there are still so many issues that persists in our society. Each day, I would pick an issue - social/health or may be something other and share my views on the same. 

Do I have my drafts ready? 
No! Well, at-least I have the topics ready for most of the letters except letter X and Z. Please drop in comments section if you have some topic on these letters.

Wish me luck...!

A to Z CHALLENGE 2016
Sunday		Monday		Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
							1	2
							Abortion - Female Foeticide	Birth Control Responsibility
3	4		5		6	7	8	9
	Child Marriage		Dowry System		Equal Pay	Feminism	Gynac Fever	H
10	11		12		13	14	15	16
	I		J		K	Law Of Nature	M	N
17	18		19		20	21	22	23
	O		P		Q	R	S	T
24	25		26		27	28	29	30
	U		V		W	X	Y	Z

Are you participating in the challenge this year? If yes, do have a theme in mind?
Share it with the readers and give them a glimpse of your blog for the coming days.
Read the theme for other participants - here.

Happy Anniversary Promises

Asking my man to make promises! Which better day than the WOMEN's day and most important, our WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. Yeah, it's our anniversary today. Here goes the open letter to my husband about the Kasams I want to take for me.

Happy Anniversary dear…
I wish that we stay as loving as always and even more and more close tom each other with each passing moment. Love you to the moon and back Mr. Sehrawat!


Remember the first anniversary, when I gifted a poem to you? Here is what I have to say to you today (It’s not that good as last time – your brother in law edited that and he is one hell of an editor)!

Dear Husband,

We met with families,
We talked with anxieties,
We laughed with surprises,
We married with rituals,
With all the passion, We fell in love.

The rituals that were,
Some promises which bore,
Most we kept,
and broke many more.
We laughed, we cried,
We fought, we sought,
We gave up, we made up,
We did it all, but together.

Today, the same day which tied us,
I want you to promise me again,
Not the traditional,
Not the emotional,
But little things,
I PROMISE,
To make you Smile...

Promise me, you would never believe in the famous quote – “Promises are meant to be broken!” You know what; all quotes and proverbs are not true. There are some which are meant to be forgotten. 

Promise me you would let me get that tattoo done - the most difficult one.. It’s one of my crazy dreams everyone have.  I know you absolutely hate them. May be that’s why it’s on top of my list. 

Promise me you would take me to scuba diving once at-least. I do not know to swim, but still, I have to do it. I absolutely love the mere thought of going under the sea among those beautiful creatures.

Promise me you would continue letting me shop nonstop anytime anywhere.  Yes, he has never ever stopped me from buying anything any time. This is one thing, all women wish for secretly!

Promise me you would pamper me like your new girlfriend always - especially when we grow old - those old couples look super cute and awesome holding hands and romancing freely.

Promise me you would stay as loving and as sexy as always.

With Love,
Amita...

Husband dear is not going to like it, but how can any girl not love love Ranveer Singh. Watch him below as he take some sexy vows for his lady...


I’m blogging about the kasams I want from my man this Women’s Day with the #SadaSexy activity at BlogAdda

Dancing Through Stereotypes

Sonal Choudhary Proud Dancer

Dance is the hidden language of the soul.

The art of dancing and dancers have always been portrayed as picture perfect figures - thanks to our Big Bang Bollywood sagas.

Behind those bold, fierce full and beautiful dancers, there are people called choreographers. Yes, these masters have come in all shapes and sizes.

Across the world, women more than men have been stereotyped into different roles and responsibilities. Not just experience, but even statistics say the same. Take a look at some of the startling figures that the Nihar Naturals #IAmCapable survey conducted by Nielsen India reveals: 

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgements passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgements on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgements on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

Whenever this topic of stereotyping based on looks is brought up, there is one person, dancer (guess she likes to call herself by it) whose face comes to my mind instantly. Sonal Choudhary - she stands 4 feet 10 inches with 72kg on her tiny toes.

 

Performing at her brothers 1st birthday! (A performer since childhood!)

I have known her since day one of my college. She was the first person from my batch I got friendly with. I had many friends and we did not get though the path of buddies, but have remained good acquaintances since then. She is going to kill me reading it - I know she always rated me in her good friends.

Performing at the song 'Mujhe Rangde' from the movie 'Thakshak' - Oh, I remember watching this one!

 To be honest, I was taken aback too when I learned that Sonal dances. What more? She has a degree in dance! I heard of a degree in that stream first time in my life. 

Performing @ NIIT's 25th Annual Function

The little princess has taken her passion for dancing to next level and never ever let her short height and body weight come her way. Dance classes, standalone practices, school functions, college fests, corporate events, competitions - there would be hardly any opportunity she would have let skip her feet. 

Any dancer would die for this frame!

She has following major achievements to her credit:

• Best student in dance for academic year 2001-2002 in school
• Second place in solo dance competition at inter-college fest at Lingya's Second place in dance at Accenture talent quest in 2008
• Several certificates for various dance forms from reputed dance academies like Danceworx and Shiamak Davar Institutes India Pvt Ltd Learnt Kathak
• Certification/degree of six years called Sangit Prabhakar with first division from Prayag Sangit Samiti, Allahabad

I must confess that I was a part of the group from our college batch which was most famous for its tantrums, pranks and everything naughty once could think of. I never stopped my friends from making fun of anyone, but sometimes, used them to remain in limits which we crossed many times! May be because of this, I was teased as the best friend of Sonal by the gang. Despite being a subject of jokes while in college, I have never seen a blink of hesitance in her eyes or attitude she carries. Kudos to you girl.

The desi gal truly breaks all set roles for a woman and has the courage to follow her heart. She undoubtedly defines the true meaning of #IAmCapable. I wish all the good luck and thumbs up to Sonal for believing in herself and breaking the so called stereotypes made for women in various categories.

I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.